Friday, September 11, 2009

If I Were Queen

And I would choose to be Queen of these United States because I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would ever want to be President.

My point:

The White House said earlier that the speech – to be shown on C-SPAN and educational stations – would focus on "the importance of education, the importance of staying in school, how we want to improve our education system and why it's so important for the country."

Other presidents, including George H.W. Bush, have given similar speeches directly to students.

But some Dallas-area parents said Obama's speech amounts to partisan propaganda. His critics have been even harsher.

Jim Greer, chairman of the Florida Republican Party, said Tuesday that the speech used taxpayer dollars "to spread President Obama's socialist ideology."

(From the Dallas Morning News.)

So, if I were Queen:

  • I would look remarkably like Audrey Hepburn.

  • Teachers would be given gift certificates and required to show up at a spa every six weeks.

  • Every campus would have a cappuccino cart operated by a know-it-all barista, in a crisp white shirt and red bow-tie, with a dazzling talent for caffeine.

  • Mandatory testing would be abolished.

  • Each classroom would have a refrigerator filled with yummy snacks to keep little brains healthy.

  • Teachers, students and administrators would take twenty-minute naps every afternoon.

  • There would always be paper at the copy machines.

But, alas, no one listens to me and we don't have those kinds of queens in this country. And I would only feed Jim Greer's theory that we're a nation overrun by socialists and their cockamamie ideologies.

Dear Diary,

One time I wanted power over my mom. She wouldn't let me go to bed when I wanted to. I would get power by staying up till I was tired and being very tired the next day.
Alice, 5th grade


  1. Yes, Mel. We must take good care of those who take good care of our children!

  2. Yes, we must...wait...I hear a campaign!


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